Let’s get sauced.
Given the current state of crisis in the portable food arena, we asked a basic question: what’s THE most repulsive fast food item in the US? And just how egregious is it? Um, let’s just say it escalated so quickly that I screamed “oh my god” about 100x, and I wanted to vomit midway through.
People actually eat single items with 5,820mg of sodium, 1,800 calories, 197g of sugar, and 158g of fat. Like, what? THIS IS SO BAD THAT IT’S FUN!
In the pursuit of unadulterated obesity, we went all-in and analyzed 600+ items from 24 popular fast food restaurants. Each individual monstrosity was then weighted and quantified based on 8 standard attributes—Calories, Fat, Sat. Fat, Trans Fat, Carbs, Sugar, Sodium, Fiber, & Protein—filtered through a model, and ultimately pegged with a composite Fatness Factor Score.
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I thought the Big Mac was the crowning achievement of human gluttony. NOT. EVEN. CLOSE. Somehow, someway, it barely made the cut.
The landscape is so laughably vile that even the Big Mac looks like a golden gem of nutrition in comparison. I had to manually insert it because it technically didn’t qualify for the top 200 (more on that in a second). That said, it’s sitting there at #198. Try to process the reality that 197 things actually exist on this earth that are worse for you than a Big Mac.
And just to give you a barometer, item #200—the Chop’t Kebab Cobb Sandwich—anchored the list with a solid 780 calories, 28 g fat, 10.5 g sat fat, 1580 mg sodium, and 85 g of carbs. That’s what we’re working with. It’s all downhill afterwards.
The fact that any of this is legal—and that people actually scarf it down on a regular basis—is absolutely astonishing. And utterly repulsive. And a tribute to just how far into the fat zone America really is.
Six quick rules of the game:
Just to *qualify* for the list, an item needed more than 600 calories (with two exceptions).
Rankings are presented in reverse order. #1 is the most fattening item on the list; #153 is the 153rd most fattening item.
We only included standard menu items — meaning a Chop’t salad with 16 extra cups of dressing, or a Chipotle burrito with triple steak and quadruple cheese doesn’t count.
Nutrition facts are for a single item.
All nutrition facts represent what’s in the LARGE version of a given item. Subs are for the 11/12″ variety.
All nutrition facts were pulled directly from each company’s website. Most data was last updated in July, 2014.
Just be aware that there are certain limitations to the quantitative model. We’re grading based on a composite score, and nutritional prowess can’t always be perfectly captured by a spectrum of numbers. Ingredient quality and integrity always matter, but we chose to exclude them as criteria to keep things consistent and avoid biases.
Just because the Chop’t Cobb Sandwich (#142) graded out 30 spots worse than BK’s Brownie Sundae (#172), doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s less healthy in a vacuum (or that I’d recommend it). Chipotle, Chop’t, Pret, Just Salad, and Jamba Juice tend to have higher quality food & ingredients than most other chains. Keep that in mind when you’re navigating the lower section of the rankings.
But if it’s here, anywhere, it’s REALLY terrible. Here’s how it all broke down.
The chart above maps out all 24 restaurants on two dimensions: # of items that made the top 200 cut and their average item ranking. In other terms — how much of the menu made it into the lowest possible stratosphere of food quality, and to what degree?
Quiznos is BY FAR the fattest restaurant in America—it racked up a whopping 25 items in the top 200, 24 in the top 100, and 18 in the top 50—followed by Sonic, Blimpie, Panera, McD’s, and Subway.
Reset your fast food vernacular. Outside of shakes and frozen ice cream concoctions, quick-serve subs and sandwiches firmly take the title from burgers and fries as the most disgusting items on earth.
Conversely, Starbucks, Pret, and Jamba Juice (unsurprisingly) had zero items that made the cut; and In-N-Out Burger and Chipotle only had 2. Here’s the full restaurant breakdown.
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Panera — New England Clam Chowder
Calories: 720
Fat/SF/Trans Fat: 62g – 41g – 1.5g
Sodium: 1,020 mg
Carbs: 31 g
Sugar: 2 g
Fiber: 3 g
Protein: 9 g
Fatness Factor Score: 64.0
Sonic — Chili Cheese Tots
Calories: 980
Fat/SF/Trans Fat: 59g – 18g – 1.0g
Sodium: 2,760 mg
Carbs: 93 g
Sugar: 3 g
Fiber: 10 g
Protein: 21 g
Fatness Factor Score: 64.2
Sonic — Barqs Root Beer Float
Calories: 770
Fat/SF/Trans Fat: 35g – 24g – 0.0g
Sodium: 420 mg
Carbs: 109 g
Sugar: 106 g
Fiber: 0 g
Protein: 10 g
Fatness Factor Score: 64.3
Blimpie — Chicken Cheddar Bacon Ranch Sub
Calories: 1,200
Fat/SF/Trans Fat: 59g – 19g – 0.0g
Sodium: 3,240 mg
Carbs: 91 g
Sugar: 17 g
Fiber: 6 g
Protein: 77 g
Fatness Factor Score: 64.5
Wendy’s — Baconator
Calories: 940
Fat/SF/Trans Fat: 57g – 23g – 2.5g
Sodium: 1,850 mg
Carbs: 41 g
Sugar: 9 g
Fiber: 2 g
Protein: 57 g
Fatness Factor Score: 64.6
Burger King — Texas Double WHOPPER
Calories: 1,000
Fat/SF/Trans Fat: 66g – 24g – 1.5g
Sodium: 1,860 mg
Carbs: 55 g
Sugar: 11 g
Fiber: 3 g
Protein: 52 g
Fatness Factor Score: 64.9
McDonald’s — Chocolate Chip Frappe
Calories: 760
Fat/SF/Trans Fat: 31g – 20g – 1.5g
Sodium: 200 mg
Carbs: 111 g
Sugar: 99 g
Fiber: 1 g
Protein: 12 g
Fatness Factor Score: 65.0
Quiznos — Veggie Guacamole Sub
Calories: 1,060
Fat/SF/Trans Fat: 59g – 20g – 1.0g
Sodium: 2,210 mg
Carbs: 102 g
Sugar: 12 g
Fiber: 6 g
Protein: 34 g
Fatness Factor Score: 65.7
Taco Bell — Cinnabon Delights
Calories: 930
Fat/SF/Trans Fat: 53g – 13g – 2.0g
Sodium: 480 mg
Carbs: 104 g
Sugar: 59 g
Fiber: 3 g
Protein: 9 g
Fatness Factor Score: 65.9
Checkers — Screamin’ Chicken Strips Meal
Calories: 970
Fat/SF/Trans Fat: 55g – 29g – 0.0g
Sodium: 3,460 mg
Carbs: 82 g
Sugar: 1 g
Fiber: 8 g
Protein: 36 g
Fatness Factor Score: 66.2
Blimpie — Veggie Supreme Sub
Calories: 1,090
Fat/SF/Trans Fat: 56g – 28g – 0.0g
Sodium: 3,000 mg
Carbs: 97 g
Sugar: 18 g
Fiber: 7 g
Protein: 53 g
Fatness Factor Score: 67.7
Wendy’s — Caramel Frosty Shake
Calories: 900
Fat/SF/Trans Fat: 20g – 13g – 1.0g
Sodium: 430 mg
Carbs: 167 g
Sugar: 122 g
Fiber: 0 g
Protein: 15 g
Fatness Factor Score: 68.1
Quiznos — Southern BBQ Pulled Pork Sub
Calories: 1,190
Fat/SF/Trans Fat: 44g – 20g – 1.0g
Sodium: 3,080 mg
Carbs: 119 g
Sugar: 29 g
Fiber: 5 g
Protein: 80 g
Fatness Factor Score: 68.9
Top List Of New Fast Food Abominations
It’s the food-pocalypse.
Our culinary lexicon now officially includes the Breakfast Waffle Taco, Glazed Donut Breakfast Sandwich, Pop-Tart Ice Cream Sandwich, and Pretzel Bacon Cheeseburger, according to a report by Restaurant News.1
And these aren’t test kitchen prototypes; they’re REAL THINGS hitting Taco Bell, Dunkin’ Donuts, Carl’s Jr., and Wendy’s, respectively, across the country this summer/fall. For human consumption.
It’s gluttony and obscene indulgence, incarnate, and the product of ‘Murrican ingenuity running on high octane.
Then again, given the irrational popularity of the cronut, the existence of BK’s bacon sundae, and the mind-blowing fact that Taco Bell sells over 1 million Doritos Locos Tacos per day,2 it’s not all that shocking that fast food chains are dipping into more eccentric waters.
Taco Bell’s offering — the Breakfast Waffle Taco — is set to roll out across 100 locations nationwide on August 8th. It comes with a scrambled egg, sausage patty, and syrup packet; all of which piles high at 460 calories/30g of fat.34
Sausage and waffles aren’t the leanest things to slide down your throat, but somehow the waffle taco isn’t that egregious in comparison to everything else in this silly lineup of abominations.
Nutrition: 360 calories, 20g of fat, 8g of sat. fat, 13g of sugar, 13g of protein.5
It’s surprisingly modest calorie-wise, but it’s still a processed concoction that’s effectively white bread on steroids, ho-hum bacon, and a corn-starch-engorged egg. Call it the Subway Effect. Plus, sweet, gooey glazed donuts paired with eggs? I’m no Paula Dean, but yecccccch — toast me.
The 5 Most Explosively Fattening Cocktails
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Consider all values to be a cocktail’s “nutritional average.” The majority of nutritional info online is misleading and incorrect — we’ve calculated drink totals from scratch based on the standard ingredients listed in each recipe.
Bloody Mary — 80 calories, 81% calories from alcohol
What’s typically in it: 1 oz vodka, 3 oz tomato juice, hot sauce, Worcestershire sauce, lemon, celery
Nutrition Info: 80 calories,
9 g alcohol, 3 g sugar, 4 g carbs
— 81% calories from alcohol.
Your lean gameplan: Drink up as is.
Vodka Soda w. Lime
— 97 calories, 100% calories from alcohol
What’s typically in it: 1.5 oz vodka, 6.5 oz soda water, lime
Nutrition Info: 97 calories, 14 g alcohol, 0 g sugar, 0 g carbs — 100% calories from alcohol.
Your lean gameplan: Drink up as is.
Mimosa — 129 calories, 63% calories from alcohol
What’s typically in it: 4 oz. champagne, 2 oz. OJ
Nutrition Info: 129 calories, 12 g alcohol, 7 g sugar, 10 g carbs — 63% calories from alcohol.
Your lean gameplan: Use REAL orange juice, preferably with pulp.
Bay Breeze — 139 calories, 52% calories from alcohol
What’s typically in it: 1.5 oz. Malibu rum, 2 oz. cranberry juice, 2 oz. pineapple juice
Nutrition Info: 139 calories, 10 g alcohol, 14 g sugar, 24 g carbs — 52% calories from alcohol.
Your lean gameplan: Switch the Malibu out for a shot of light rum; more alcohol, fewer carbs.
Cranberry Vodka — 145 calories, 45% calories from alcohol
What’s typically in it: 1 oz. vodka, 4.5 oz. cranberry juice, splash lime juice, splash OJ
Nutrition Info: 145 calories, 9 g alcohol, 20 g sugar, 21 g carbs — 45% calories from alcohol.
Your lean gameplan: Use real cranberry juice; cranberry juice cocktail is loaded with HFCS and other added sugars.
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